Just before the turn of the century, I started getting some noises in my ears. It was not a distraction but was definitely an irritation. I was in my early 30’s happily married, upwardly mobile. Had just got my first international posting and the world was mine to conquer. Within months it all came crashing down.

While in Egypt I was diagnosed with Menniere’s disease. It’s not a life threatening illness. But it is a social taboo illness. It affects the hearing and sometimes causes vertigo. It’s cause is yet unkown but is linked to an unhealthy lifestyle…..anxiety at work place, irregular eating and sleeping habits, processed food rich in sodium, cola and caffeine culture….all of which I was guilty of. There is no cure but one needs to take preventive measure. I went for diagnosis and treatment to UK, US and even got an unsuccessful surgery done in my inner ear. But my tinnitus in the ears kept on increasing, my hearing diminished. Frankly more than the hearing it was the speech discrimination which was an issue. In plain language, I could hear but was not sure of what was being spoken.

My first reaction was that this cannot be happening to me. But my immediate second reaction was that I am going to fight it. I acquired hearing aids of the highest order in order to improve my speech discrimination, I changed my eating habits totally. Cut out all tea, coffee, colas, processed foods and salt from my food. Started daily walks and jogs and also alternate medicine.

And I never allowed it to interfere with my work. I was concentrating much harder, was more focussed even developed a bit of lip reading! And the results showed. Some of my best years in terms of results happened in Egypt and Indonesia. In Egypt I turned around an ailing division restored client confidence in the agency on all globally aligned MNC clients and broke all records in client performance appraisals and bonuses. Exactly the same results came in Indonesia too where I was leading a team of more than 50 people and also handling regional responsibility, which meant extensive travel throughout Asia and London.

But I noticed another change. In the way society started dealing with me. I was no more a high flyer or a rising star. I was not shunned but when people realised I was wearing hearing aids, suddenly there would be doubt in their eyes and actions. Since I was wearing a hearing aid therefore it was assumed that I was at a handicap. People would raise their voice automatically, repeat the same things twice and if I asked them to repeat what they said would look at me with pity. First I thought it was mind playing tricks but on closer observation I realised it was a definite behaviour trait.

Worse was to follow. People started assuming that I was getting dumber. I could see exasperation setting in if I did not follow something at the first attempt. I could see impatience because it was assumed that having a handicap meant that I have become an inferior person.

And then the worst social behaviour emerged. I would notice people sniggering behind my back. If I misinterpreted something it was because I was hard of hearing, and I did face some moments when people actually took advantage of my condition. There were some colleagues and also superiors who blatantly lied, “But I told you so. Oh! You may not have heard it!” There were times when I knew that some one was trying to shift blame on me and use my problem to their advantage and I could do nothing about it. It was almost as if I was marked out.

Mind you I was in a communication business. I was at the beck and call of my clients 24x7. And I had to always keep in touch with my consumers too. Attending group discussions, strategy meetings, new business pitches were all a normal part of my day. It was a high pressure, result oriented, deadline driven career.

All this did get to me. It was not only frustrating but also dealt a severe blow to my self confidence. Maybe, I actually didn’t hear what he said? Maybe, my mind is not processing information with same precision? Maybe, I am not capable of handling big projects? Maybe, I should retire and look at a more sedate profession?

My strength was my wife. She not only believed in me but was my walking talking medical advisor. She would be on the net for hours surfing for more information on the disease. She would look at all types of alternate medicines. She would become part of medical groups or patient grous related to the illness. She would restore my self confidence and she would exhort me not to give up. She always looked at the brighter side of things. At least it is not a life threatening disease, would be her usual refrain. That certainly put things in perspective.

The interesting part was that while I was being set up for failure due to societal and even peer rejection, my results at work place weren’t bad at all. Yes, there were hiccups and lows but then these happened when my confidence was at the lowest. In fact more often than not I realised that my clients were very appreciative but my industry and peers were not. The word was out on the street. He wears a hearing aid. Poor fellow, he has lost it.

I was really frustrated. Down in the dumps. I started withdrawing into a shell. I was never a firm believer but I started losing faith in God and even humanity. I would decline invites to client social meets, I would shun office group events, I would not be part of any weekend outing trips….the more I secluded and cut myself off, the more tongues wagged. The more people became convinced that I am no more a capable professional or even a friend.

But I recovered with the help of my family support system. Luckily the worst in terms of the disease was also over. My ears stabilised and I doggedly got back into my groove. My life perspective had changed and I was now determined to change some more people’s.

This is not an attempt to make a victim of myself. I don’t want this piece to get me sympathy. But I think there has to be an understanding of how some acquired physical disability does not make the person less than what he used to be. How can society and work place change their impression about someone just because he is using a device which has him labelled, handicapped? Just because I had become poor in one of my physical faculty did not mean that I had diminished as a person.

It is funny. If I had a heart attack and I had survived it, I would have been more accepted than as a person who has got a disability. Isn’t that ironic? So I soldiered on. Bagged new assignments, made a difference in my job. But the fact that I wore hearing aids always caught up.

Our society is full of preconceived notions. In as much as we try, it is not easy to fight and break these notions. My experience shows me that no one will fight for you. If you are lucky as me and have a good support system like my wife, my family, my in laws then you can fight. But what about those who do not have such support system. And also an economical support system. What do those people do? How do they fight these pre conceived notion? What do they do? How do they survive?

I turn fifty today. According to our customs and belief this is an age when a person gets into Vanaprastha ashram. Give up worldly goods, emotionally detach yourself from the world, give up the materialistic things. I will do none of that. For I want to be a role model. For I am a survivor who has survived to say his tale.

I want to tell everyone who has a disability that they are not inferior. They are just differently abled. I want them to not accept sympathy. I want them to not expect a warm, accommodating society. I want them to not accept preconceived notions. I want them to not disrespect their own self belief.

I want them to understand that the only disability in life is a bad or wrong attitude.

I want them to know that they may be disabled in one aspect but they are better than the abled in many more aspects as they will always try harder. I want them to understand that they can be more compassionate as they realise others pain.

I want this compassion to drive them. I want their disability to drive them. I want the hostile world to drive them. I want the sympathetic looks to drive them. And I want the desire to prove the preconceived notions wrong, to drive them.

And I need your help, to help them. From today when you meet a disabled person, treat him as a normal person. Respect him for what he is. Motivate him, encourage him and look at his strengths. Help him fight any preconceived notion. And if you find any other person doing the opposite of this tick him off. Educate your children on these issues. In fact introduce them to handicapped people. Let them know that they are no different than anyone else.

If each one of you demonstrate this attitude to even a single person with disability, it will be my best 50^th Birthday gift. I hope you will not shy away from giving me one.